“turd falling”

With this website I can see how people have come across my blog by seeing what they searched for in google.  There have been some pretty interesting inquiries, but I think “turd falling” takes the cake.  It doesn’t really surprise me that I have a blog that can be reached by someone typing those words, although I can’t help but wonder why someone would search for that in google.  If I write a memoir about my personal experience farming “Turd Falling” is definetly a top candidate for a title.

I apologize for not keeping up with my blog.  My wife tells me that I need to either update it more often- at least weekly- or get rid of it.  I’m sure she’s right.  Nobody likes old boring blogs.  I thought that I would take this time and give my faithful readers some unsolicited advice.  If I knew then, what I know now…..

 

3 Bits of Advice for Aspiring Farmers

1.  Avoid having business partners at all costs.

Take it from me, most of the stuff you that you need to do can be done with just yourself, or some help. “Help” does not mean an official, legitimate business partner.  It means asking some friends to come over  have a work party.  Get em a little drunk and build a chicken coop.  Be careful using power tools.  Also, the less opinions, the better.  Start the business slowly and if it can support you financially, then add a partner.  Only hipsters and rich kids (or both as one) believe that it’s as easy as just having a few acres with some animals and vegetables to start a farm.

2.  Start a business, not just a farm.

It’s great if people want to farm, but be realistic.  This is gonna be your livelihood.  Not just a hobby, but a way to pay your bills.  Take it seriously and stick to your guns.  If you have ever tried to talk down the price of an item at the farmer’s market, or at least complained about how expensive something is, you are not suited to be a farmer.  I’m afraid the shocking realities of non-industrial farming may be too much for you to handle.  Be realistic about how much you think you will profit off of your hard work.  Most likely, it will be much lower than you expect.  So, start out with a strong, thoughtful, educated business plan.  Farming is a business and should be treated like one.

3.  You gotta have some balls to deal with some of this stuff.

I don’t mean you literally have to be a man, but you need to be able to handle the bad just as well as good.  When it comes time to slaughter a pig, don’t run away and let someone else deal with it.  You should see that animal all the way through.  Why? you ask.  Because that’s part of your business and you have to be sure that animals are treated right from the time when they’re babies to the time they arrive on your plate.  Sure, you can look away at times, when it’s tough,but  don’t run away.  For example, recently a hen got attacked at night by bobcat.  She was roosting (unknown to me) in a fig tree at night.  The bobcat bit and clawed into her backside.  I found the hen still alive, but obviously injured.  I cleaned the wounds, put her in a hospital crate and tried to allow her to heal with some medication.   After about ten days or so, she didn’t seem to get any better.  The wounds looked better, but she was still listless.  So, I let her out to run around (or in her case, just stand there) and get some fresh air and sunshine.  After a few days of that I reexamined her only to find that her wounds were now full of maggots.  It was one of the gnarliest  sights I have seen.  She was far beyond repair and going to the vet is not really an option, so I put her down.

I relay this story to you, not just to let you know gross you out, but there are a surprising amount of gross things that happen on a farm with animals.  You have to be able to handle disease, wounds, slaughters, injuries and more if you want to be a farmer.  It’s not just collecting eggs, or rolling around with pigs or picking fruit or harvesting veggies.  It’s all the nasty stuff too.  Everything from babies hatching,  bones breaking, fruit ripening and turds falling.